Why do we sign our kids up for sports!? What do we go to their events for!? These are all questions I have asked my self over the years! I am raising 5 children (4 boys, 1 girl). And, all five are involved in sports in some way! So, I have asked my self this over and over again because we have experienced great joy and a lot of pain in the sports world! I began to contemplate all of my thoughts on these two questions! I go for many reasons, that include my own sports involvement growing up, personal dreams, my children’s personal dreams, and so on. We started when my oldest (Cortland) was 4 years old. He received his first motor running thingy, it was a small four wheeler. That, in it self took a lot of supervision but brought a lot of joy! He then moved onto a dirt bike and we put him in some races! That was it, he was hooked and he is good! The 2nd oldest (Hudson aka Huddy) began to join too! However, when Hudson got to 4th grade we decided to add him into football because he was a hefty kid! He loved it! So that was our beginning journey as a sports family and a sports momma! I’ve been a basketball fanatic most of my life and a girls basketball coach, and my husband was a three sport athlete, and had played basketball in college, well really for most of his life! So, we were totally all about the sports scene! Well, as they started to play our love for winning increased! I am personally a super competitive individual! I’m basically like Kim Mulkey, I’m a little on the cray side and even been known to get kicked out of a gym or two! (Sad face emoji) You know that meme, where the parents are like this is the parent I hope to be (calm, collected, clapping), then it switches to Kim, and she’s hopping around on the court screaming super mad! (Welp that’s me) Not my best moments for sure! My oldest is super competitive as well, and our 4th son is a little on the cray side of things! (Smiley face emoji) The other two boys have had to work on their aggressiveness and competitive nature, and it took time for them to grow in these areas! Over the past 19 years of raising kids in the sports scenes, here is why I promote getting your kiddo involved in a sport if they show any interest at all!
Top 8 benefits of sports!
- Relationships! Yes, we are all, truly created for relationship and connection. Connection creates a sense of Belonging and Significance! I have personally, to this day, have a hand full of friendships that started on the court in middle school and in high school! These relationships have become life long and we all created deep bonds with one another, due to the amount of time we have spent together starting on the courts! I see my children forming long life friendships, as well, as they walk through their own journey in the sports world! Their sports teams have provided the same opportunity to them, as it did me! These friendships, they are developing, gives them a strong sense of who they are and who they are becoming. Relationships on and off the court/field are beneficial in so many ways for sports kiddos!
- Discipline! Sports provides a form of structure and takes a lot of listening and follow through on the kiddo’s part! There is nothing better than seeing your son/daughter learn respect, communication skills, rule learning and following directions! It’s another avenue for them to understand the importance of self discipline! They also learn how to have reasonable, respectful conversations with leaders even when they are “hard conversations”. They have a chance to become a leader themselves in the sports realm! Discipline is a big part of sports and a valuable life long lesson!
- Commitment? This is a big one! We all can struggle with commitment! We, as a family have faced some extreme changes in sports with coaches and staff and hardships and so on. I won’t go into them but, just know our challenges in the sports world has been huge at times. Even when they aren’t big issues, we let our children know, once they commit, we see it through! When the hard times hit in sports, we will be there for them, and help them navigate situations but, we do not quit! They have all wanted to quit multiple times throughout their sports careers, and some of them were valid reasons. We find solutions, teach them communication, teach them how to advocate for themselves, and help them carry on! We also, at many times have had to advocate for them as parents and they witness their mom and dad standing in their corner!
- Hardships/Pain! Sports gives the ‘No Pain No Gain strategy’! However, it is also tough to walk through hardships and pain with your kiddo! When your child does not play on the field or court (sees more of the bench), or experiences bullying, or inappropriate coaching, politics, and HORRIBLE PARENTS! (smiley face emoji). When our children hurt, we hurt. When our children are disappointed, we are disappointed with them! So we have cried with them, hurt with them, bandaged them, took them to the ER here and there, held them and supported them! We have set up meetings with coaches, sent emails, taught our kids to communicate hard discussions with their coaches. All of this, has created resilience in each of our kiddos! Huge! Sports teaches resiliency!
- Loss! Okay loss is horrible. We have been on the losing teams and the winning ones! Its so hard! But loss is a part of life and its a great intro to life, because we all face small losses and even big ones! Sports teaches valuable life lessons naturally, such as, getting back up, becoming better and working harder! Loss also teaches our children good work ethic, a desire to change, and creates a desire to set goals to get better and most of all acceptance!
- Win! Winning is fun! Winning is what encourages the desire to continue forward! Winning is what shows a child that their pain, hard work, is worth it! Its a natural motivational strategy, when our child wins, they begin to see how hard work can develop and create momentum. Winning encourages them to continue all their good habits such as communication, work ethic, not giving up, commitment and so on!
- Structure! Okay, so we are a blended family! I remarried when my two oldest were 4 and 2. We really needed support during their younger years! Their sports is what gave the extra structure needed in our home as we transitioned out of one situation and then into a new one! We had extra support from just having the same routines, structure and added fun and helped us blend! It was a great distraction! Also, as they grew up, in our experience in high school, sports was an added benefit to have coaches pouring into our children whom encouraged character development! They were highly supervised and their grades had to be good! All of this extra support was necessary in our family. It took a lot of pressure off of me as a parent because it was already instilled through their sports teams! Hudson (second oldest) played very competitive football and was really mentored by upper class-men and coaches, they became his second family. My oldest son was able to connect with his dad personally through his racing and that kept their relationship strong and gave them a way to connect and brought both sides of our families together, as we do a lot of traveling in the motocross world! Huge positive impact! All the structure that sports provides, is an added support to a family system, by adding to their character in positive ways, rules, grades, diet, exercise, and increases positive behaviors that we all want to see out of our kiddos! Its a natural form of structure development!
- Community! Okay I spoke a little about this above! Sports has brought us together! We not only have grown and learned to blend our two separate families but, we also connected together in supporting our two older boys. They needed to know they are more important than our own issues and differences! We also over the years have developed a strong community of friendships! I’m not sure what I would do without the football moms, or basketball parents, motocross community! We have really gotten close! We support one another, call one another, complain to one another and most of all enjoyed watching our children grow up together! We plan outings, create fun events, we gather the kids together as much as we can! There is nothing more that a parent could ask for then to see positive life long friendships developing with your kiddos and in our own parental lives! Its been monumental for our family to develop such a great community around us!
Disclaimer
Despite all of these 8 reasons to put your kids in sports! I’d like to share a disclaimer! When the “wins” become too important we loose all rationale to why we are sacrificing time and money for sports. We want to see our child’s team or child win right!?? Somehow, it becomes huge to us and them and we want our children to SHINE! It almost becomes an idol of sorts! So I ask, why always do we need a win? I think and ponder on it some, and think about how losing is painful. Having kiddos who are just average or maybe even just a participant on the bench, how is that helpful for our kiddos? Having four very talented boys often a ‘win’ began to create a natural expectation that, winning was our ultimate goal! I started to ponder in all the ways I have failed in my life. I tend to do that often (fail)! I was always a little too out spoken, walked the line, had a knack for being disrespectful at times, had no problem standing up for myself. I was often very well known for either being really good or kinda bad growing up! LOL! Over the years I have learned to develop more appropriate attributes (thankful emoji inserted here). However, I would not have learned those things without failure. Such as, loss of friendships, loss of games, poor relationships that needed mending with coaches or friends, time on the bench, struggles with parents, friends, teachers, coaches and so on! All my ‘losses’ are what has created the best me! I found my identity through my struggles and my commitments. I learned resilience, I began to learn to face judgement and persecution, justice, embarrassment, and when I didn’t measure up I had to change or work harder. I see that happening with my own kiddos! So the moral of the story, talent is a gift, some kiddos are extraordinarily gifted, some are not! Maybe your child is not good at any sports or maybe they can be a participant and reap the above benefits! Find where your child can achieve all 8 benefits that make them shine, win or lose. Remember, everyday failures and/or losses in sports, makes us and your children more equipped for life. So why do we put our kids in sports I ask again!? For the lessons learned in friendships, coaching experiences, failures and commitment. Overall its not for a ‘win’ or to become the very best! I know the Lord gave me boys to not only to recognize their talents and wins but also their losses because I recognize that losing is also a win!
Keep losing and winning in life! It all matters!
Susanna